The Balloonist
This is part of a series of writings that takes some deep dives into my songs. People occasionally ask about the finer points of where these songs come from, so I thought it would be fun to provide that to any interested parties.
"The Balloonist" was written in the latter days of 2012. This would have been right around the time I was discovering Mark Knopfler. Once you know that, you can tell exactly where a song like this comes from.
Knopfler is incredibly adept at building quiet stories around quiet characters and making them land in fun, meaningful, and unexpected ways. A song like "Secondary Waltz" tells the story of a grade school class learning to waltz with a crazy instructor ("McIntyre's out of the army/you'll be slippered if you get it wrong"). It builds a funny, touching scene of a bunch of awkward kids trying to learn this skill under the pressure from this nutjob while also navigating it with members of the opposite sex.
The story unfolds over several verses without any sign that we are going to leave that gymnasium; we think this funny story of mild childhood trauma is the story. That is until the final section comes out of nowhere:
When you come to my fights
And I'm under the lights
And you see that my footwork is false
Don't count me out at the start of the bout
I'm just doing the secondary waltz
Doing the secondary waltz
The story isn't about kids waltzing in a gymnasium; the story is about a boxer with this quirky event buried in his past. When you see him before his fight looking like an idiot, don't think it says anything about his boxing. He's just doing this stupid dance he learned in seventh grade.
This is what great songwriting looks like to me. It's smart, funny, unexpected, and shows tremendous discipline on how to link disparate stories together. It creates scenes and characters dripping with interesting, thoughtful details, so specific that it helps them feel believable and real.
"The Balloonist," has very little to do with "Secondary Waltz" directly. From what I can recall, "The Balloonist" originated from two places: The first was from another Knopfler song --"Quality Shoe". You can immediately hear the similarities in the hoppy chord progression, but that's about where the similarity ends. The second was that I was listening to "Quality Shoe" on my way to teach a guitar lesson and dozens of hot-air balloons were floating around across the horizon. I decided to take Knopfler's guitar energy from "Quality Shoe," his vignette acumen from "Secondary Waltz," and make a character who has the same sort of uncommon life --the life of a hot-air balloonist.
I've never met someone who does this for a living. I don't know if hot-air balloonists are a quirky group of people, a terrifying group of people, or a kindhearted, romantic group of people. The guy in "The Balloonist" is likely the latter. He doesn't really say anything that might make you think he's a jerk; he really just says a whole bunch of stuff that makes you think he's full of regret, loneliness, and mostly unhelpful romanticism.
All of which has led him to this uncommon career path, and he spends a lot of time telling his intended audience how great and special it is. He beat the day job, he can "sing with the bluebirds and fly with the doves/get you a little bit closer to the stars above," and he has a beautiful life of freedom that he wants to share --"a little it of mystery is a lot better than chains."
The lesson that he arrives at is likely true. Though he has managed to come to a worthwhile conclusion for the wider world, it's not a conclusion adequate for himself. He claims he has this freedom, and he loves it, but he also realizes that all of this freedom can't buy him what he really wants --not to be lonely.
But he's a romantic, and this drives his motivation. He thinks the person he's talking to is the perfect partner he's been waiting for. The first two verses find him confident in his retreat from traditional society, but the last verse allows for some dissention to creep in. The final verse isn't a confident declaration; it's a goalpost-moving series of retreats and attempts at convincing the other party to come along:
First, it's "whatya' say my darlin? A new life awaits." You can guess a "no" comes from the other person because then comes a line convincing her of what he's peddling: "A little bit of mystery is a whole lot better than chains." You can ascertain that another "no" lands because then he changes the demands of what he's asking to make it more palatable: "We don't have to travel long, or even wide or far." We don't have to be that freewheeling and crazy if you don't want to be.
And sadly for our narrator, it's another "no." He has to close with another desperate shot to convince: "Realize not knowing where you're going is often better than where you are." Again, he might be right, and maybe this is a good Pinterest motivational life lesson to handle a fear of change, but he's stumbled into that conclusion. This is not a lesson he has executed for himself; he thinks it is, but it's not. He doesn't even realize it, but he's still on the receiving end of this wisdom. Not knowing where he's going is still preferable because where he currently is sucks.
But he gives up. This final line is the last card he has to play. Had I left out the final chorus, "realize not knowing where you're going is often better than where you are" becomes the last line of the song, and therefore offers no space for another "no." But we get another chorus. And it ends the same way as the other two: "But of all the things I find I can do, not a single one is getting me to you." I think she said "no" again, and he's back to floating through the sky alone with his head literally in the clouds.
Around the time of "The Balloonist," I could relate a lot to this character. The lack of romantic success, the pushing back against cultural norms, and the dumb ways I tried to seek out that romantic success all combined to make a case that this song was tangentially autobiographical --at least a little more so than how every song you write is in some way autobiographical.
I think the narrative is realized, but it's that guitar riff that really makes the song pop. I can't take credit for that. The lead guitar part was written by my brother, Kevin. Without it, the song was likely another boring strummed entry that mirrored what I was capable of on the instrument at the time. The riff, much like a good rug, really ties the room together. That's why it's fourteen years later and you'll still find me playing it enthusiastically.